Subtraction, Your Kids and You
Math is likely one of the most difficult things any parent must contend with when helping their child understand mathematical concepts. There is a simple way to make subtraction easy for kids. Kids are most likely to retain images they see longer than those they must visually create. The first time children hear the word "subtract", their minds immediately grow murky with misunderstanding of what it means. Yet, pre-school age children can be taught subtraction as soon as they are able to create words. Teaching the "how" is much easier for parents than the "why".
What Kids See Is What They Subtract
A child can learn subtraction as young as age three. Use subtraction as a learning curve in each day's activities. For example, if a child is playing with several toys, have them remove one to show them what subtraction means. Once they understand that subtraction is merely deducting a unit from a group, the idea of what subtraction means becomes clearer. Use subtle instruction to get the idea of subtraction across rather than formal teaching. Formality at a very young age is certain to be a huge repellent for educational instruction later. Make subtraction as much fun as possible.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The way to develop your kid's skills
Every parent dreams of smart children. And to some extent, intelligence is a matter of the luck of the draw. But whatever the natural abilities of your child, you can help him or her become even smarter. You can take simple steps to prepare your youngsters for school and for life.
The first and most important thing to do to make your kids smarter is to read to them. Nothing will ever beat reading for learning knew information and becoming well educated. Reading is truly a skill that is basic to life and to all levels of education. More than the information that your child will learn as you read to them, you will be instilling a love of reading in your child. Then, as they grow older, they will seek out books on their own, out of love for books and out of habit.
The second thing you can do for your child is to speak to them about the things they are learning about. When they take geography in school, tell them about what is currently going on in the places they are studying. When they learn about chemistry, talk about the advances that chemists are discovering and how those advances are helping people. Help your child to see the practical applications of knowledge in the world around them. And ask your child to teach you what they are learning. Research has shown that when one teaches someone else information, the teacher learns the information better than they knew it before. And lets be honest, what kid would pass up the chance to teach their parents a thing or two? Your children will be willing, and even excited to tell you what they know.
A third thing you can do for your child is to gear them toward activities that are both fun and educational. Science camp or space camp are good examples. A summer reading club where they read books and discuss them with other students is another good example. When traveling, visit the museums in the city of your destination. See historic monuments whenever you can. Try to watch educational TV programs whenever possible when the TV is on. Get educational computer games-- like Where in the World Is Carmen San Diego? Watch educational movies, like Schindler's List.
A fourth way to help your child to become smart is to encourage them so that they are confident. Many children who have the capacity to learn do not do so because they don't believe in their own abilities. They give up. If these children would only try harder, if they would only continue the journey or education, they would learn. They need only to be shown that success is a possibility, and that someone believes in their success.
Finally, take an active role in your child's life at school. Go to parent teacher night. Whenever your child struggles in a class or doesn't understand something, have a parent teacher conference and see how you can help. Monitor grades closely, and ask teachers to send progress reports if they see problems before grades are due. Get to know the teachers, staff, and principal of their school. And show your child that succeeding in school is praiseworthy.
Essentially, the key to making your child smart is making them committed to learning and to education. The best-- and only-- way to do this is to demonstrate a commitment to their education yourself. If a parent child team is mutually committed to education, nothing can hold them back.
The first and most important thing to do to make your kids smarter is to read to them. Nothing will ever beat reading for learning knew information and becoming well educated. Reading is truly a skill that is basic to life and to all levels of education. More than the information that your child will learn as you read to them, you will be instilling a love of reading in your child. Then, as they grow older, they will seek out books on their own, out of love for books and out of habit.
The second thing you can do for your child is to speak to them about the things they are learning about. When they take geography in school, tell them about what is currently going on in the places they are studying. When they learn about chemistry, talk about the advances that chemists are discovering and how those advances are helping people. Help your child to see the practical applications of knowledge in the world around them. And ask your child to teach you what they are learning. Research has shown that when one teaches someone else information, the teacher learns the information better than they knew it before. And lets be honest, what kid would pass up the chance to teach their parents a thing or two? Your children will be willing, and even excited to tell you what they know.
A third thing you can do for your child is to gear them toward activities that are both fun and educational. Science camp or space camp are good examples. A summer reading club where they read books and discuss them with other students is another good example. When traveling, visit the museums in the city of your destination. See historic monuments whenever you can. Try to watch educational TV programs whenever possible when the TV is on. Get educational computer games-- like Where in the World Is Carmen San Diego? Watch educational movies, like Schindler's List.
A fourth way to help your child to become smart is to encourage them so that they are confident. Many children who have the capacity to learn do not do so because they don't believe in their own abilities. They give up. If these children would only try harder, if they would only continue the journey or education, they would learn. They need only to be shown that success is a possibility, and that someone believes in their success.
Finally, take an active role in your child's life at school. Go to parent teacher night. Whenever your child struggles in a class or doesn't understand something, have a parent teacher conference and see how you can help. Monitor grades closely, and ask teachers to send progress reports if they see problems before grades are due. Get to know the teachers, staff, and principal of their school. And show your child that succeeding in school is praiseworthy.
Essentially, the key to making your child smart is making them committed to learning and to education. The best-- and only-- way to do this is to demonstrate a commitment to their education yourself. If a parent child team is mutually committed to education, nothing can hold them back.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Day care Cambridge
Today I am going to tell you few things about day care Cambridge. That one that is in Minnesota. It's a nice place where a lady with huge experience looks after kids. She has been working in Awana, and she has been a sunday school teacher for a very long time. At the moment she runs a daycare, and she does that very well. I know some people who have their kids at her daycare. And they are more than satisfied with the work she's doing.
Talking about kids, I should say they always are happy to go to that day care Cambridge. It is a place where they play together and explore the world of new things. The daycare provider always keeps her eyes on the kids, and they get no traumas + happy to play in such an environment. Once I have visited her childcare and can tell for sure that if I were living there I would give my child to that daycare, into loving hands of the daycare provider.
Talking about kids, I should say they always are happy to go to that day care Cambridge. It is a place where they play together and explore the world of new things. The daycare provider always keeps her eyes on the kids, and they get no traumas + happy to play in such an environment. Once I have visited her childcare and can tell for sure that if I were living there I would give my child to that daycare, into loving hands of the daycare provider.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Interesting visitor - facts for kids
Réunion is an island of surprises. It is French, but it’s nowhere near France — it’s off the east coast of southern Africa. After dark on this island, scientists use night-vision cameras to spy on the flowers. They want to learn more about pollination, which is how many plants reproduce. A plant becomes pollinated when pollen, which looks like powder, is moved from the male to the female part of the plant.
And now for the strange part: While watching an orchid at night, these researchers recently filmed a new kind of cricket — one never before reported by scientists. Not only was the cricket new, but it was doing something never observed in any kind of cricket: It was pollinating the orchid. The scientists, who are from France and England, reported on the new cricket — and its new behavior — in a recent paper.
Claire Micheneau, who worked on the study, is finishing her Ph.D. at a university on Réunion. (A Ph.D., also known as a doctorate, is an advanced academic degree. University professors in the sciences usually have earned a Ph.D.) “This was very unexpected,” says Micheneau, who worked with scientists from the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew in England. “The answer to a question brings us further questions.” Scientists would like to know, for example if cricket pollination is more common than they thought.
Micheneau and her colleagues weren’t looking for crickets. They wanted to know how an orchid called Angraecum cadetii becomes pollinated, so they aimed their night-vision cameras at the flowers and hit the “record” button. For a flower to make seeds that can grow into new plants, the flower needs to be pollinated: Pollen from the male part of a flower has to land on the female part of the flower, the stigma. Wind might help the pollen get there—or bugs like bees and butterflies, or birds, might. Surprisingly, in recent years scientists have even seen lizards and cockroaches carrying pollen from flower to flower. But never have they seen crickets doing so — until now.
When the scientists watched the movies they recorded, they saw a cricket moving away from an orchid with pollen on its head. They considered that maybe this was one strange cricket, so they set up the experiment again and recorded that type of orchid for many hours. Over and over, they saw the same thing: Crickets were pollinating the flowers.
W. Scott Armbruster, a scientist at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks, says if flowers are growing far from where they originated, they might attract strange pollinators — like crickets or lizards. (Armbruster did not work on the orchid study.) This orchid, for example, probably originated on the nearby island of Madagascar but at some point migrated across the water.
The orchid and this type of cricket seem made for each other. The orchid gives off its sweet smell at night, when the crickets are out — and can snack on the orchid’s delicious nectar. This cricket is particularly good at finding its way around every night, so it could easily find the orchids in the dark and remember where to find them later. “It was the right orchid and the right cricket,” Armbruster told Science News.
Armbruster notes that the word biodiversity usually refers to a list of all the different kinds, or species, of organisms that exist in a place — so the biodiversity of Réunion would include both the orchids and the crickets. He says that should change: “We tend to think of biodiversity in terms of lists of species, but it is actually lists of interactions”—meaning the relationships between different species like the orchid and the cricket.
The French word reunion means “meeting” — which seems fitting for this pair. The meeting of the cricket and the orchid may be a surprise, but it’s no surprise to scientists that different species are so strongly connected and depend on each other for survival.
And now for the strange part: While watching an orchid at night, these researchers recently filmed a new kind of cricket — one never before reported by scientists. Not only was the cricket new, but it was doing something never observed in any kind of cricket: It was pollinating the orchid. The scientists, who are from France and England, reported on the new cricket — and its new behavior — in a recent paper.
Claire Micheneau, who worked on the study, is finishing her Ph.D. at a university on Réunion. (A Ph.D., also known as a doctorate, is an advanced academic degree. University professors in the sciences usually have earned a Ph.D.) “This was very unexpected,” says Micheneau, who worked with scientists from the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew in England. “The answer to a question brings us further questions.” Scientists would like to know, for example if cricket pollination is more common than they thought.
Micheneau and her colleagues weren’t looking for crickets. They wanted to know how an orchid called Angraecum cadetii becomes pollinated, so they aimed their night-vision cameras at the flowers and hit the “record” button. For a flower to make seeds that can grow into new plants, the flower needs to be pollinated: Pollen from the male part of a flower has to land on the female part of the flower, the stigma. Wind might help the pollen get there—or bugs like bees and butterflies, or birds, might. Surprisingly, in recent years scientists have even seen lizards and cockroaches carrying pollen from flower to flower. But never have they seen crickets doing so — until now.
When the scientists watched the movies they recorded, they saw a cricket moving away from an orchid with pollen on its head. They considered that maybe this was one strange cricket, so they set up the experiment again and recorded that type of orchid for many hours. Over and over, they saw the same thing: Crickets were pollinating the flowers.
W. Scott Armbruster, a scientist at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks, says if flowers are growing far from where they originated, they might attract strange pollinators — like crickets or lizards. (Armbruster did not work on the orchid study.) This orchid, for example, probably originated on the nearby island of Madagascar but at some point migrated across the water.
The orchid and this type of cricket seem made for each other. The orchid gives off its sweet smell at night, when the crickets are out — and can snack on the orchid’s delicious nectar. This cricket is particularly good at finding its way around every night, so it could easily find the orchids in the dark and remember where to find them later. “It was the right orchid and the right cricket,” Armbruster told Science News.
Armbruster notes that the word biodiversity usually refers to a list of all the different kinds, or species, of organisms that exist in a place — so the biodiversity of Réunion would include both the orchids and the crickets. He says that should change: “We tend to think of biodiversity in terms of lists of species, but it is actually lists of interactions”—meaning the relationships between different species like the orchid and the cricket.
The French word reunion means “meeting” — which seems fitting for this pair. The meeting of the cricket and the orchid may be a surprise, but it’s no surprise to scientists that different species are so strongly connected and depend on each other for survival.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Games for children
Children love to run and play. And when the weather is nice they love to play outside. These are the games we sometimes play with children at Cambridge daycare. You have to remember that before you go outside and play, you need to check out these safety factors. Grassy area is the best place to play. If you use a parking lot, check the traffic or block off the drive way. Avoid walking traffic. You want to enjoy these daycare games, but you want to be safe first.
Wild Horse Round Up
Divide the children into two groups. One group is wild horses and the other group is the cowboys. The cowboys stay behind the coral (line). The horses go out and run in the play area. When you yell "Wild Horse Round Up", the cowboys run and catch the horses and bring them into the coral. Once, all the horses are caught, switch groups. Make sure the horses know their limitations on where they can go.
Mr. Fox, What time is it?
You need two lines, one at each end of the play area. In this game, one person is the fox. Everyone lines up in front of Mr Fox. Mr. Fox is at one end of the playing area. The children slowly walk up and say, "Mr. Fox what time is it?" Mr. Fox says," two o'clock, five o'clock, seven o'clock or etc." Each time the children get a little closer on their approach to Mr. Fox. However, they always stop and ask "What time is it?" When Mr. Fox yells, "Midnight", he tries to catch as many as he can as they turn and run back to the safe line. The children that he catches, then help him catch others, as the game continues. The game is played until all children are caught.
Big Bear Mountain
The playing area is a large area with trees and bushes. On child is a bear and he hides. Once he is hidden, the other children go on a bear hunt on Big Bear Mountain. Big Bear jumps out and growls. He chases them back to the safe area. Everyone that he catches, also become bears. They hide as well. The game continues until all are caught or you run out of hiding places. note; Only the original bear can make the decision when to chase the children.
Chinese Freeze Tag
The play area has no bases or safe area. One person is designated as "it". On go, it tags individuals. Those that get tagged, spread their feet apart and freeze on the spot. They can be set free if one of the other children crawl through their legs and set them free. If you have a large number of children, you can add another "it" to help out.
These are four really good Cambridge daycare games we play that involves a lot of running. As a leader of the group, make sure that you maintain control and assert your voice when you have to. Keep in mind, that a lot of times children get so wrapped up in the game, that they don't hear you. Have fun, but stay safe. These daycare outdoor games are a great way to pass time.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
When the rules are broken.
If your child breaks the rules when you’re out, I would take them out of the department store. If they throw a tantrum, I would stay with them in that tantrum and when they are done, I would take them out of the mall. At this point, the show is over; there’s no way there’s going to be any more shopping.
With younger kids, you can just hold their hand and take them to the car. But if they resist you, don’t get physical. Let them throw their tantrum. Have a seat, watch the show. And if people ask questions say, “He’s throwing a tantrum and there’s nothing I can do.” I think parents have to do that every time until the acting out in public stops. If possible, bring a magazine or a book so that the child can see that he's not getting your attention through that inappropriate behavior.
Let me assure you that I know how embarrassing this can be for parents. But you have to understand, your child also knows how uncomfortable their behavior makes you; that’s how your child is blackmailing you. So, in their mind it’s, “Let me have my way or I’m going to blackmail you in front of all these adults. I’m going to embarrass you and make you uncomfortable.” It’s just that simple. And you need to stop letting them hold you hostage with their behavior.
Remember this: When you don’t give in to your child, they have to figure out another way to solve their problem.
With younger kids, you can just hold their hand and take them to the car. But if they resist you, don’t get physical. Let them throw their tantrum. Have a seat, watch the show. And if people ask questions say, “He’s throwing a tantrum and there’s nothing I can do.” I think parents have to do that every time until the acting out in public stops. If possible, bring a magazine or a book so that the child can see that he's not getting your attention through that inappropriate behavior.
Let me assure you that I know how embarrassing this can be for parents. But you have to understand, your child also knows how uncomfortable their behavior makes you; that’s how your child is blackmailing you. So, in their mind it’s, “Let me have my way or I’m going to blackmail you in front of all these adults. I’m going to embarrass you and make you uncomfortable.” It’s just that simple. And you need to stop letting them hold you hostage with their behavior.
Remember this: When you don’t give in to your child, they have to figure out another way to solve their problem.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Kids with Anxiety
For many children, riding the school bus, taking a test, or even going to school can trigger some anxiety. Social activities, such as birthday parties, sleepovers, dances and dating, can also make kids feel anxious. Personally, I think severe anxiety is one of the worst feelings in the world.
It can be disabling. Kids have described it to me as feeling like there’s a brick in their stomach, as if they’ve done something wrong or something bad is going to happen. Many adolescents describe it as feeling like something is eating at them and they can’t stop it and it scares them, or like they're waiting for the other shoe to drop.
As a cautionary note, it needs to be stated that when dealing with severe anxiety, be sure to have your pediatrician rule out any medical issues that may cause anxiety to make sure it's not a problem with physical origins.
That being said, anxiety is the emotion we experience in a wide variety of ways when we’re uncertain about what’s happening, or we feel like we can’t control the events that are about to happen. Fortunately, most adults learn to manage this anxiety in a way that allows them to function effectively and live successfully in society.
Anxiety is really the 21st Century word for fear, although people don’t always associate it that way. Survival is probably our strongest primary instinct. And our instincts produce energy in the form of feelings. One way to understand the feeling of anxiety is to think of survival as a “fight or flight” mechanism.
Survival is the engine, anxiety is the gas—it gives you the energy to actually do the fighting or running. For people who have problems managing anxiety, it feels like their bodies are revving up, but there’s nowhere to go.
That’s why they talk about feeling nervous, jumpy, uptight, or out of control. The problem is, most kids don’t know how to process their anxiety, so it goes unchecked. And many times, it ends up feeding on itself and building.
It can be disabling. Kids have described it to me as feeling like there’s a brick in their stomach, as if they’ve done something wrong or something bad is going to happen. Many adolescents describe it as feeling like something is eating at them and they can’t stop it and it scares them, or like they're waiting for the other shoe to drop.
As a cautionary note, it needs to be stated that when dealing with severe anxiety, be sure to have your pediatrician rule out any medical issues that may cause anxiety to make sure it's not a problem with physical origins.
That being said, anxiety is the emotion we experience in a wide variety of ways when we’re uncertain about what’s happening, or we feel like we can’t control the events that are about to happen. Fortunately, most adults learn to manage this anxiety in a way that allows them to function effectively and live successfully in society.
Anxiety is really the 21st Century word for fear, although people don’t always associate it that way. Survival is probably our strongest primary instinct. And our instincts produce energy in the form of feelings. One way to understand the feeling of anxiety is to think of survival as a “fight or flight” mechanism.
Survival is the engine, anxiety is the gas—it gives you the energy to actually do the fighting or running. For people who have problems managing anxiety, it feels like their bodies are revving up, but there’s nowhere to go.
That’s why they talk about feeling nervous, jumpy, uptight, or out of control. The problem is, most kids don’t know how to process their anxiety, so it goes unchecked. And many times, it ends up feeding on itself and building.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Have regular family meetings with kids.
This is important for all families, but is particularly helpful for single parents as it serves to provide structure. Sit down once a week and focus on what’s happening in the family. I advise parents to start the meeting with compliments, verbalize those, and then focus on solutions to problems that are cropping up together. You might say, “Jack, I really appreciate the way you’ve been keeping your room clean lately. Nice job.”
Go around the table and have everyone say something good about each person present. Then work together as a family to set new rules. For example, maybe there’s been a lot of name-calling in the house. Your rule that week could be, “I want to stop the name-calling. It’s hurtful and I want it to stop.”
Then, if it happens again later on that week, you can say, “Name calling is really a problem for me. I think it is hurtful and disrespectful. I would really like your help. What ideas do you have to solve the problem? Let’s brainstorm and see how many ideas we can come up with and then we’ll choose one that works for everyone.”
With family meetings, kids feel needed, empowered, and motivated to meet their responsibilities. They feel listened to, valued, taken seriously. Kids rebel if they perceive that we keep trying to take their power away. We need to start training young children to use the power they do have by coming up with a solution that’s respectful of everyone.
That’s why I love family meetings. It teaches them to contribute and use their power in useful ways. Do it once a week without fail, make it the most important date on your calendar so kids will know it, too.
You can also use your family meetings to come up with ideas for activities you’d like to do with your children—everyone can give a suggestion. Even though time is at a premium for single parents, be sure to remember to plan time for fun. It doesn’t have to cost money or even take that long to do.
Play Frisbee in the park, play a game, but try to schedule regular, fun activities with your kids. This will help you strengthen your family, and puts you on the road to single parenting success.
Go around the table and have everyone say something good about each person present. Then work together as a family to set new rules. For example, maybe there’s been a lot of name-calling in the house. Your rule that week could be, “I want to stop the name-calling. It’s hurtful and I want it to stop.”
Then, if it happens again later on that week, you can say, “Name calling is really a problem for me. I think it is hurtful and disrespectful. I would really like your help. What ideas do you have to solve the problem? Let’s brainstorm and see how many ideas we can come up with and then we’ll choose one that works for everyone.”
With family meetings, kids feel needed, empowered, and motivated to meet their responsibilities. They feel listened to, valued, taken seriously. Kids rebel if they perceive that we keep trying to take their power away. We need to start training young children to use the power they do have by coming up with a solution that’s respectful of everyone.
That’s why I love family meetings. It teaches them to contribute and use their power in useful ways. Do it once a week without fail, make it the most important date on your calendar so kids will know it, too.
You can also use your family meetings to come up with ideas for activities you’d like to do with your children—everyone can give a suggestion. Even though time is at a premium for single parents, be sure to remember to plan time for fun. It doesn’t have to cost money or even take that long to do.
Play Frisbee in the park, play a game, but try to schedule regular, fun activities with your kids. This will help you strengthen your family, and puts you on the road to single parenting success.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Advice to those who are flying solo
2. Give up your guilt.
What you believe, your kids will pick up on. If a single parent feels guilty about the dissolution of the marriage, their ability to provide financially, or any other reason, kids will work that. But if a parent says “This is the way it is for us, we’ll make the best of it, we’re going to do just fine,” the child picks up on that confidence, security and commitment instead. If the single parent feels guilty and thinks they have to “make something up” to their children, the kids can start to feel either deprived or entitled.
3. Let your kids know they’re needed in the family.
One of the biggest problems with children today is that they’re not “needed” in the family. They’re not given enough responsibilities and are not expected to meet the ones they have. But a single parent can truthfully say, “We’re a team, we can share the responsibility.”
Give your kids opportunities to feel needed and valued. Give them real responsibilities in the home such as helping with laundry or dinner (depending upon the child’s age.) Single parents can look at this as an opportunity, and say, “Wow, I really do need my kids.”
4. Solve problems together.
Our theme in the Positive Discipline books is focusing on solutions with your children. The more you get them involved in “What’s the problem and what’s the solution?” the more they’ll feel motivated to follow those rules. I think problems come up when parents start to dictate the rules, and single parents may feel they need to be more punitive to keep control. We’re so afraid that if we don’t add punishment, we’re letting the child get away with something.
I believe in allowing children to experience the consequences of their choices. Don’t “ball them out and then bail them out.” If your child is careless, leaves his bike in the driveway and it gets run over, a parent might punish him by saying, “OK, I’m not buying you a new bike and you can’t ride your bike anymore this summer.” But they’ve already experienced the consequence: they’ve experienced loss or sadness by losing the bike.
Instead, if you focus on solutions with your children, you can help them be more responsible. So now you can say, “I’m willing to sit down and work with you on how you can earn some money to buy a new bike.” You don’t punish or rescue them—it’s not about permissiveness. You come up with a solution together. It’s a matter of being aware so you can focus on solutions.
What you believe, your kids will pick up on. If a single parent feels guilty about the dissolution of the marriage, their ability to provide financially, or any other reason, kids will work that. But if a parent says “This is the way it is for us, we’ll make the best of it, we’re going to do just fine,” the child picks up on that confidence, security and commitment instead. If the single parent feels guilty and thinks they have to “make something up” to their children, the kids can start to feel either deprived or entitled.
3. Let your kids know they’re needed in the family.
One of the biggest problems with children today is that they’re not “needed” in the family. They’re not given enough responsibilities and are not expected to meet the ones they have. But a single parent can truthfully say, “We’re a team, we can share the responsibility.”
Give your kids opportunities to feel needed and valued. Give them real responsibilities in the home such as helping with laundry or dinner (depending upon the child’s age.) Single parents can look at this as an opportunity, and say, “Wow, I really do need my kids.”
4. Solve problems together.
Our theme in the Positive Discipline books is focusing on solutions with your children. The more you get them involved in “What’s the problem and what’s the solution?” the more they’ll feel motivated to follow those rules. I think problems come up when parents start to dictate the rules, and single parents may feel they need to be more punitive to keep control. We’re so afraid that if we don’t add punishment, we’re letting the child get away with something.
I believe in allowing children to experience the consequences of their choices. Don’t “ball them out and then bail them out.” If your child is careless, leaves his bike in the driveway and it gets run over, a parent might punish him by saying, “OK, I’m not buying you a new bike and you can’t ride your bike anymore this summer.” But they’ve already experienced the consequence: they’ve experienced loss or sadness by losing the bike.
Instead, if you focus on solutions with your children, you can help them be more responsible. So now you can say, “I’m willing to sit down and work with you on how you can earn some money to buy a new bike.” You don’t punish or rescue them—it’s not about permissiveness. You come up with a solution together. It’s a matter of being aware so you can focus on solutions.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Single Parent
Jill is a single mom of a nine-year-old daughter, whom she’s been raising by herself since Haley was an infant. “The hardest part about being a single parent is having no one else there when Haley acts up. It’s all me. She doesn’t listen to me, and then I just don’t know what to do. I’m really getting anxious about her teenage years. I’m not sure if I can keep her on track by myself, she’s so willful.”
Jill is far from being alone. Single parenting is one of the toughest jobs on the planet, yet more than 50 percent of households in America are headed by just one mother or father. Much of the time that parent is working full-time and trying to maintain the home, in addition to everything that comes with parenting a child.
To make matters worse, often single moms and dads, like Jill, report feeling as if their children aren’t listening to them or following family rules. Coupled with the guilt that many single parents feel, this can be a one-two punch to the faith you have in the job you’re doing as you raise your kids on your own. So what can you do to maintain confidence in yourself and peace in your home?
Empowering Parents spoke with Dr. Jane Nelsen, Ed. D., the author and co-author of 17 acclaimed books on parenting, including Positive Discipline for Single Parents, and she offered this advice to those who are flying solo:
1. Remember that two is a family.
One single parent with one child, that’s a family. In society, just about everything is blamed on single parents and broken homes, and it’s really sad because it’s just not true. The most important thing is not the number of parents in the home, but the parenting.
We always ask people, ‘Don’t you know single parents who have raised great kids?’ So instead of thinking, “We are a broken home,” say, “We are a single-parent home”— it’s just a different kind of family. I think a lot of being a successful single parent lies in your perception. By that, I mean single parents often think it’s more difficult for them.
It’s so easy to think the grass is greener on the other side, and yet when you have a two-parent family, your spouse might not be that supportive: There’s usually one parent that prefers to be more strict and one that’s more lenient, and then they fight about who is right.
A big part of changing your perceptions about single parenthood is if you see your situation differently. Try to see your family’s situation as an opportunity rather than a negative. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there aren’t any difficulties in being a single mom or dad, but there are advantages to keep in mind as well.
Jill is far from being alone. Single parenting is one of the toughest jobs on the planet, yet more than 50 percent of households in America are headed by just one mother or father. Much of the time that parent is working full-time and trying to maintain the home, in addition to everything that comes with parenting a child.
To make matters worse, often single moms and dads, like Jill, report feeling as if their children aren’t listening to them or following family rules. Coupled with the guilt that many single parents feel, this can be a one-two punch to the faith you have in the job you’re doing as you raise your kids on your own. So what can you do to maintain confidence in yourself and peace in your home?
Empowering Parents spoke with Dr. Jane Nelsen, Ed. D., the author and co-author of 17 acclaimed books on parenting, including Positive Discipline for Single Parents, and she offered this advice to those who are flying solo:
1. Remember that two is a family.
One single parent with one child, that’s a family. In society, just about everything is blamed on single parents and broken homes, and it’s really sad because it’s just not true. The most important thing is not the number of parents in the home, but the parenting.
We always ask people, ‘Don’t you know single parents who have raised great kids?’ So instead of thinking, “We are a broken home,” say, “We are a single-parent home”— it’s just a different kind of family. I think a lot of being a successful single parent lies in your perception. By that, I mean single parents often think it’s more difficult for them.
It’s so easy to think the grass is greener on the other side, and yet when you have a two-parent family, your spouse might not be that supportive: There’s usually one parent that prefers to be more strict and one that’s more lenient, and then they fight about who is right.
A big part of changing your perceptions about single parenthood is if you see your situation differently. Try to see your family’s situation as an opportunity rather than a negative. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there aren’t any difficulties in being a single mom or dad, but there are advantages to keep in mind as well.
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