Leave them at home.

 I don’t think there’s anything wrong with leaving your child at home with proper supervision and telling them, “You can’t come today because you can’t handle it. You made a scene last time we went shopping and so today you’re staying home.”

And if your child promises and begs and swears, say, “No, let's see how you behave staying at home. If you handle that OK, then we'll see.” And make them sit at home. Make them understand that you’re not going to be blackmailed and that you’re strong—and that when you make decisions, you’re going to stick with them.

Here’s the simple truth: when children resort to inappropriate behavior to get their way, they don’t learn how to solve problems. And when they don’t learn this skill, they go into adulthood with a real handicap. You see many adults who only know how to get angry and yell at each other whenever there’s emotional stress. Part of that is because they have very poor communication skills and very poor problem-solving skills. When confronted with a problem, they only know how to avoid it, which means they let it build up on the inside until they explode.

So make up your mind that you’re not going to let your child hold you hostage with their misbehavior. Don’t give in to emotional blackmail when your child threatens to act out. I tell parents to think of it this way: your child has got to get to bed tonight without a crisis. That’s their goal. And our goal as a parent is the same thing: to get to bed tonight without a crisis and to teach our children the skills they need. If you can do that, then you’re all set.