Have regular family meetings with kids.

This is important for all families, but is particularly helpful for single parents as it serves to provide structure. Sit down once a week and focus on what’s happening in the family. I advise parents to start the meeting with compliments, verbalize those, and then focus on solutions to problems that are cropping up together. You might say, “Jack, I really appreciate the way you’ve been keeping your room clean lately. Nice job.”

Go around the table and have everyone say something good about each person present. Then work together as a family to set new rules. For example, maybe there’s been a lot of name-calling in the house. Your rule that week could be, “I want to stop the name-calling. It’s hurtful and I want it to stop.”

Then, if it happens again later on that week, you can say, “Name calling is really a problem for me. I think it is hurtful and disrespectful. I would really like your help. What ideas do you have to solve the problem? Let’s brainstorm and see how many ideas we can come up with and then we’ll choose one that works for everyone.”

With family meetings, kids feel needed, empowered, and motivated to meet their responsibilities. They feel listened to, valued, taken seriously. Kids rebel if they perceive that we keep trying to take their power away. We need to start training young children to use the power they do have by coming up with a solution that’s respectful of everyone.

That’s why I love family meetings. It teaches them to contribute and use their power in useful ways. Do it once a week without fail, make it the most important date on your calendar so kids will know it, too.

You can also use your family meetings to come up with ideas for activities you’d like to do with your children—everyone can give a suggestion. Even though time is at a premium for single parents, be sure to remember to plan time for fun. It doesn’t have to cost money or even take that long to do.

Play Frisbee in the park, play a game, but try to schedule regular, fun activities with your kids. This will help you strengthen your family, and puts you on the road to single parenting success.